Updated: May 17
It's 7:41 am, I'm brewing my morning pot of coffee and I'm up early because I've been impatiently waiting for EI to show up and I thought perhaps today was the day.. turns out it wasn't, I'm still waiting and now I need to look into deferring my mortgage payments for a while, as the whole entire world sorts itself out. And I just sigh.. I can't control this - but I can control me.
Despite the stresses that are showing up, I am surrendering to the silence, resting in the peace of this moment, all is quiet in my home and my little dude is still sleeping. It feels calming and I am being fully present.
Big deep breathes in and out.. ahhh.. feels so nice..
For the first few weeks after I applied for EI and the corona virus exploded, I was super Mom! We had a full-on schedule like in school, and my son took to it very well. Every day we did yoga, meditation, outside time together, and not until the end of the day did we schedule in video game or tv time.
We're still enjoying our schedule lately, but I've been a little less "Teacher-y", and a lot more relaxed. I'm really taking advantage of this time to hang with my son, spend time with my partner/love and focusing on what makes me feel great. That could mean taking a five minute-longer shower, a walk outside, or just enjoying the silence of my home and being in my own energy for a little while. Have you tried it?
Is it ironic that a pandemic had to happen so that I could sort myself out again?
I feel so lucky and blessed, and I am doing my part to support and help anyone needing mental health wellness encouragement. I am here to help anyone who needs food, a talk, inspiration, or just a listening ear. I am also using my planner daily to stay focused and perform as best as I can, looking for work, reading, writing, creating content to help others and spending time daily being grateful for all of the blessings I have in my life - even as little as the basil that is sprouting from my indoor herb garden.. (it really does get me excited!) I also know something that is very true for myself and probably for you too:
I am responsible for my impact.
And so how can I be the most impactful? How can I serve? How can I show up for me first, then my family and then the world? These are questions I ask myself often.. do you ask them to yourself too? Maybe you'd like to start. The first step?
Surrendering to the silence.
Okay, but how - you're probably thinking? You've got bills, groceries, no work, kids at home, working from home, mortgage needs to be paid, rent has to be sorted, hydro and water, and medications and groceries and you don't want to go out because you don't want to get the virus, but you have to and.... the list goes on and on and on. It's all noise. It's all loud noise, right? How can you possibly get your mind and thoughts to just take a little vacay for a moment?
You just surrender. You take moments and stop. You sip your coffee, go outside and listen to the birds for a few minutes. You write down your to-do lists, you tackle one thing at a time, you create reminder notes, you lean on those who love you and who are there for you, and you rise up like the powerful human being you are and know that this too, shall pass. It's also known as mindfulness or paying attention - just paying attention for a few minutes a day can help you feel less anxious, worried, upset - DESPITE all of the challenges and hardships you are currently facing.
It does not take away those feelings but rather it helps you navigate them a little easier with a clearer mind and more focus. Mindfulness has been scientifically proven to stimulate parts of the brain that activate our rest and digest (PSNS) system. Our amygdala ( responsible for fight or flight and freaking out) decreases and instead, our grey brain matter thickens, our hippocampus ( a part of our brain responsible for memory and learning) increases and we find that we are more clear, focused, happy, and in control of our thoughts and actions and that.feels.good!
It also does not dismiss or negate that you need to find a way to pay rent - but rather, it helps you to remain present, on-point and organized because a clear and de-cluttered mind means clear and de-cluttered choices which ultimately transfers over into a clear and de-cluttered life.
Don't tell me that doesn't feel good -even just to think about!
So taking these moments as often as you can and surrendering to the silence is not weak - it's actually a very strong choice. It's being a warrior within your day to make the choices that best serve your mental health hygiene and wellness.
So go ahead - start now, and just surrender to the silence. Let your mind rest, let your body relax, breathe in and out. Notice the sounds outside, or sit in your favorite spot in your home. Write stuff down to get things off your mind. Think about a few things that ARE going right and know that you have it within yourself to conquer any challenge you have right now - there is always a solution and repeat :
I am responsible for my impact, and I can surrender to the silence.